Instead of saying, ‘Asexuality doesn’t exist,’ try saying, ‘Asexuality is a sexual orientation just like bi, gay, lesbian, and pan.’
Instead of saying, ‘You will know when it’s time to have sex,’ try saying, ‘Love doesn’t equal sex.’
Instead of saying, ‘Have you seen a doctor?’ try saying, ‘There are many happy, healthy relationships that don’t have sex involved in them.’
Instead of saying, ‘This will pass, it is just a phase. Everyone wants sex sometimes,’ try saying, ‘Sexuality is fluid and exists on a huge spectrum. There are many different types of sexuality.’
Instead of saying, ‘Sex is a natural part of adult relationships,’ try saying, ‘Sex and sexuality are complicated to figure out. Give yourself time and space to explore what you are feeling.’
It sucks when someone you have feelings for doesn’t share those feelings; it happens to women all the time, too. We hear “I just want to be friends” and “you’re like one of the guys” and “you’re like a sister to me” just as often. But you’ll never hear a woman complain that guys just don’t appreciate a Nice Girl because we’re taught it’s our own fucking fault when we’re rejected—we aren’t pretty enough or thin enough or sexy enough, we weren’t sexual enough or were too sexual, we put out too much or too little or too soon or not soon enough, we didn’t wear our hair the right way or our skirt the right length, we’re “too tomboyish” or “too butch” or “too feminine”, or we’re “not their type”, or we’re otherwise not good enough in various ways to entice the man to grace us with his affection.
But when we’re not interested in someone, we’re vilified. We’re the bitch that lead them on, the bitch who let them buy us dinner but didn’t want to date them, the bitch who doesn’t appreciate a nice guy, the bitch they were nice to and then got nothing in return from.
And, frankly, fuck those people. Showing interest in me, being friendly with me, getting close to me, or eating a meal with me (even if they paid for it) doesn’t obligate me to open my heart or my legs. And anyone who doesn’t appreciate my friendship sure as hell doesn’t deserve my love or my pussy.